Last Saturday evening, triumphant shouting could be heard from a group of 15 excited students sitting in the Old Bookstore near The Brew. After further inquiry, it was revealed these students were creating a union at Vassar and celebrating after the Brewers won their Union College baseball game.
We sat down with one of the senior union members who told us about the events of the evening.
“Amy Bodescu ’23 pitched over 15 ideas for union budgeting in five minutes—it was insane! Her proposals completely came out of left field. After she pitched them, we struck out most of our other plans.”
Two minutes later, a sophomore stepped up to the plate, fielding questions about union leadership logistics. His plans quickly came to a short stop, however, after it started raining and he had to run home.
That evening, as the union meeting was wrapping up near the Brew, the Brewers won their game at Union.
“If Vassar can win at Union, then why couldn’t our union win at Vassar?” one astute student pondered.
After agreeing with the student that that’s totally how logic works, the union set out to make its group as baseball-like as possible, collecting bats from the Raymond attic, stealing bases (but not acids) from the chemistry department and getting a perfect pitch from the Music Department.
With regard to the baseball game, several union members expressed their concern that Vassar defeating Union is an ominous hint of Vassar’s future relationship with their union. But Smith noted a secret clause in Vassar’s founding documents: “With proper proceedings in place, it must be ensured that unions, like the baseball team’s bases, are loaded.” Smith announced this irrefutable evidence of the union’s claim to fortune last Thursday to celebratory cheers from the group.
After a week of preparation, the union has announced that it is ready to pitch ideas, avoid strikes and make sure that nothing goes afoul.
We can only hope that the union’s work is a grand slam.