ARIES
Did you ever read those articles that were meant to fear-monger parents into thinking that there were shards of glass in their kid’s candy? Yeah, me neither. But you should check your Halloween candy this year. You never know what could be hiding in there. Mystery pills, razor blades, Richard Nixon—the usual things to be afraid of seeing when you open a Snickers bar.
TAURUS
Step out of your comfort zone this Halloween and try a spooky activity! Watch a new scary movie or text an old friend and see how they’re doing. Or, my personal favorite, ride alone in the elevator with someone that you kind of know but not well enough to feel completely comfortable talking to them. That’s always frightening.
GEMINI
Try out a new costume that nobody has ever seen before. Be an armadillo, or a traffic cone. I knew someone who dressed up as the purple Teletubbie and wore the costume to high school every year. That’s definitely an option for you, if you’re looking to be the talk of the town.
CANCER
Watch a horror movie for all of your friends who are too scared to watch one. Tell your friends about it, but make sure that your description isn’t too scary! Some people want to get the full experience without all of the jumpscares and gore. Not speaking from experience.
LEO
Did you ever get chased by some teenager in a clown costume while you were trick or treating? This was a regular occurrence where I lived. If this were to happen to you now, would you be the chaser or the chasee? Think about it.
VIRGO
Participate in a seance this week to connect to the other side. Vassar is supposed to be super haunted, so it’s probably not too hard to talk to a ghost. Bring your friends! Pull out a Oujia board that you bought from Toys R Us! See what they have to say about how this weekend will go. Just don’t tell the ghosts that I sent you.
LIBRA
Reflect on your past Halloween costumes. What was your best one? What was your worst? Maybe you dressed up as some obscure book character and nobody could tell who you were. Or maybe you were Spider-Man, that’s pretty cool. Or maybe you’re one of those lame people who didn’t dress up and just went and asked for candy. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.
SCORPIO
Go roam some basements on campus! That’s supposed to be pretty fun. I wouldn’t do it because I’m too scared of rats and roaches, but I’m sure some people enjoy it. Go see if there’s actually a tunnel between Ray and Davi. Or is it Joss and Jewett? Let me know if you figure it out.
SAGITTARIUS
You should watch all of the Disney Channel Halloween episodes. Sure, it’ll heal your inner child and all of that, but some of them are actually entertaining! It’s a nice break from all of the readings you probably should do. I recommend the episode from “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.”
CAPRICORN
I think that you should go ghost hunting. You’ve probably got all of the supplies that you need, like a flashlight and that weird radio thing that allows ghosts to talk to you. If you don’t, head on over to gatorsandghosts.com to find all of your ghost hunting essentials! (Not sponsored.)
AQUARIUS
Connect with your inner ghost. Haunt the halls. Freak people out. Don’t put concealer on to cover your eye bags and wonder why people ask if you’re sick. Be unapologetically you <3
PISCES
Do the monster mash (the monster mash). I’ve heard it’s a graveyard smash. It catches on in a flash. Apparently it was Dracula’s “Transylvania Twist” before Bobby “Boris” Pickett and The Crypt-Kickers renamed it the monster mash. Do the mash! (wa-wa-ooh).