In her Sunday email this week, President of the College Elizabeth Bradley announced that due to the universal popularity of the paid washing machine and printing programs, the College would be implementing a wider microtransaction economy based on the VCash system.
“For too long, students have used VCash only for the laundry machines and getting stuff from the vending machines while inebriated,” Bradley said. “Our new microtransaction initiative will expand the utility of VCash and monetize previously complimentary items and services, improving efficiency and profitability at all levels.”
The changes are slated to take place across numerous aspects of life at Vassar, from dorms to dining and beyond. For one, showers will now require activation with VCash payment at a rate of $0.60 for every 15 minutes of hot water.
Although this announcement was generally met with dismay, not all students believe it to be a bad thing.
“I haven’t showered since 2019, so I don’t really care either way,” one first-year student said. “I guess it’s a bummer for people who are really into bathing, but they’re suckers anyway. It’s all a scam perpetuated by Big Shower Gel, so ultimately, this will just help expose the truths that the bathtime industry doesn’t want you to know.”
The dining hall will also face sweeping changes as part of the microtransaction program. Meals from Home, Oasis, Kosher and The Global Kitchen will continue to be included with a regular meal swipe, but all items from the self-serve stations—Root, Brick Oven, Coffee & Sweets, The Grill, Stocks, Pressed and whatever the salad bar is called—will be individually priced starting next week. A leaked list obtained by The Miscellany News contained the full list of prices, a short selection of which have been included below.
$0.03 per fry
$0.02 per salad leaf
$0.52 per burger patty
$0.10 per ketchup squirt
$0.00 per hard boiled egg
$0.11 per ounce of ice cream
$0.005 per oyster cracker
The charges will be levied on a station-by-station basis, so students will pay as they go through the Gordon Commons. In addition, students who wish to dine in a booth will incur a new “booth fee” of $1.30.
As part of the changes, the Gordon Commons’ slogan has been changed from “dine-in, all-you-can-eat” to “dine-in, all-you-can-afford.”
Checking out items from the library will now come with a price of $0.22 per book. This change is expected to be less profitable for the College, however, as data shows that a total of just six physical items have been taken out of the library so far in 2024.
Bradley believes that these changes will usher in a new era of engagement and profit for the College and assist in furthering its goals in other areas.
“Above all else, we want our students to continue being Fearlessly Consequential,” she said.
“For the low price of just $7.04, that is.”