How dare you use me like this! In case you newbies are wondering, no, I did not want to be intermittently thrown around The Deece. My motto is “take me or leave me”; not “every little bit counts.” Nor is it “something is better than nothing.” It is certainly not, in the words of my buddy Purple’s favorite songstress, “oh, whatever, it’s fine.” Using me as an accent. I find the very idea almost as insulting as the reality. I do not exist to make white look better. Do you really think a little bit of me will cleanse The Deece walls of white privilege? Why do people think that suddenly all the issues with white disappear when you put in a little color? That’s right, I am a color. I don’t want to hear any of this shade nonsense. Do you know how depressing it is to be Gray? It’s so depressing that I am used to symbolize depression (which I did not agree to, by the way). Why can’t I be used to symbolize happiness? Surely I deserve it over Yellow and Green. Ok, I can’t badmouth Green, but Yellow! First of all, Yellow is not just the color associated with pee but you specifically don’t want your pee to be yellow. Also, Yellow is a primary color. I’m not saying that Yellow is a slut but it is a little too eager to get mixed up with other colors. Not only am I used to symbolize depression, but my accomplishments and contributions to pop culture are frequently ignored. Black and white movies are like 85 percent gray and yet they are called black and white movies. They should be called, fifty shades of gray films. To add insult to injury the movie that is actually called “Fifty Shades of Grey” is about sadomasochism (not to mention they spelled my name wrong). I have no issue with weird sex things. After all, I am a neutral color. But I don’t want weird sex things to be associated with me. Pop culture has failed me. Now, The Deece has too. Vassar was treating me so well. Hell, I made it onto some of their shirts. Now, they have insulted me with their haphazard splattering of me. In the words of the great Ron Swanson, “never half-ass two things, whole-ass one thing.” I just want Vassar to whole-ass me. Is that too much to ask? There are many places I do belong. Clouds, roads, the hair of the elderly—who by the way should not be ashamed of me and cover me up with that blonde that no one thinks is real. 2.87 percent of The Deece is not one of those places.
The Miscellany News reserves the right to publish or not publish any comment submitted for approval on our website. Factors that could cause a comment to be rejected include, but are not limited to, personal attacks, inappropriate language, statements or points unrelated to the article, and unfounded or baseless claims. Additionally, The Misc reserves the right to reject any comment that exceeds 250 words in length. There is no guarantee that a comment will be published, and one week after the article’s release, it is less likely that your comment will be accepted. Any questions or concerns regarding our comments section can be directed to Misc@vassar.edu.