In her ad for AMC Theatres, Nicole Kidman once said, “Somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place like this” (the place in question being, obviously, an AMC Theatre). But I must confess that sometimes, heartbreak does not feel good in a place like this. These past few years, I have spent countless hours of my time laboriously writing sarcastic, empty one-liner reviews of popular movies on Letterboxd. Is this endeavor an attempt to salvage my shattered self-esteem after my failed stand-up comedy career? Mayhaps. However, most of my family members and friends have praised my beautiful sense of humor, so that just leaves me with one puzzling question: How come nobody likes my Letterboxd reviews?
Letterboxd is a website where people can log the movies they’ve watched and leave reviews for them. It’s become notorious amongst cinephiles and non-cinephiles alike for both fostering a diverse community dedicated to cinema, while also making some really annoying—I mean, annoyingly hilarious—users infamous through their movie reviews. Some reviewers on the website have tens of thousands of likes and followers just for writing reviews like “this also happened when i dyed my hair,” written by Karsten Runquist (one of the most followed users on Letterboxd) about the film “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”
I foolishly believed that I could join the brave legion of Letterboxd royalty one day. Many people aspire to achieve success and satisfaction through their career, relationships, or accomplishments—but I know that’s impossible. Look at me. I’m double majoring in film and English, aka unemployment and disappointment. My love life would make John Cassavetes cry. The only chance I have at fame and fortune is through building a massive following on Letterboxd. Sure, I only have 10 followers, all of whom are other film majors at Vassar, but everyone has to start somewhere, right? Maybe I’m addicted to watching bad movies that no one has ever heard of or even wants to watch, but can’t I captivate my audience with my wit through my review of “Communist Girlfriend Capitalist Boyfriend”?
I’m at my wit’s end. Is there truly no hope for a budding young critic like me? Will I have to follow my father’s footsteps and become a cryptocurrency influencer? Gone are the days of Siskel and Ebert. We must now usher in “gal pacino” and “stavvybaby69.” The moviegoing masses are bereft without an honest, pure voice that will provide them with the humorous criticism they desire. So I implore you, readers of the Misc: What do you think? Are my reviews funny? Do I have any luck fulfilling my dreams of becoming a professional Letterboxd reviewer? Why don’t you follow my account today and let me know? Thank you so much for reading, and don’t forget to hit that subscribe button and press the bell icon so you can be notified when new reviews come out.
Found this because I have the same frustration. It seems that “popular reviews” are literally the ones with the most likes, so it’s a self-fulfilling recursive loop. No other reviews will ever appear at the top of any particular movie. At least that’s the way it looks to me. You have to work hard to go find other reviews, and even then, you just a get a page of them.