Phony Holden Caulfield recounts his crumby winter break
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is whether I applied for summer internships, and how my grades were, and all…
Humor & Satire
Managing familial tensions through petty board games
Maybe it’s uniting over a common activity, or, more likely, the competitive streak that we all share, but games have always been important to my family. However, familial tensions inevitably…
Quoth stressed students: “Nevermore”
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a lengthy Econ chapter that was quite devoid of charm— In my lib chair swiftly slipping, dreaming…
Do’s and dont’s of preparing for your finals
Do: give yourself a head start on all your exams and papers. Your future self would thank you if that were at all possible. Don’t: procrastinate. The night before your…
I am number 2: student meets namesake
It all started with a mixup at the mail room. After getting that obligatory email, I picked up the envelope and walked away. Ripping the edge open, I pulled out…
Stay Strong: insider reveals truth about enigmatic dorm
From the assassination of JFK, to the construction of Stonehenge, to the invention of whatever Furbies are, the world has always been filled with mysteries. Until I came to Vassar,…
Google drive: thoughts on the human element of driving
Recently, a police officer pulled over a car on a California road only to find no driver at the wheel. It turned out it was a Google self-driving car that…
Aliens promise end to climate change after human extinction
The year was 20XX and it was an unremarkably normal Monday for planet Earth. Oil prices reached a record high of $20 per gallon due to scarcity, the Amazon rainforest…
6 sustainable food solutions for a Dining Bucks shortage
Retreat Napkins I don’t have dining bucks left, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hang around the Retreat and watch people eat. While sitting alone diligently staring at people, I…
Aging teenager contests that YouTube was better in his day
College admissions pages have been laced with the go-to accepted post: “I like to watch Netflix and stay in, but also am always down to go out and party!” This…