Student lies on the couch all summer, then lies about it
“Hey Lily! How was your summer? What did you do?” Ok, I hate those questions already. For most people, the answer is quite simple. They usually went on vacation to…
Humor & Satire
Feet first into the health care system
Many students use the summer as a chance to go to another country, or work on Excel spreadsheets for some company to help pad their resume. For my time off,…
An uncliched look at seniors’ last words
Commencement speeches have been riddled with cliches and pocketed with lies since the Middle Ages. See, I just completely made up a sweeping and entirely not factual argument in a…
Just below the limit: how to forget your Founder’s Day
For most first years entering Founder’s Day, very little is understood about the day. Here are some important tips to survive the day with most of your teeth, and some…
Enduring the unbearable: surviving the summer with the people who love you most
We are so close to leaving this place and getting a well-deserved break. This break comes at a price, however: we have to spend some time interacting with our families.…
Former Humor Editor eaten by thesis, foul play suspected
We gather here today to remember the late Humor and Satire editor Chris Gonzalez, who was consumed by his thesis on May 4th, 2015 in the Miscellany News’ office. The…
The next five years of your life plotted in Yelp reviews
Your First Apartment 2.5/5 stars A little cramped, but gets the job done. Perfect for hosting approximately three quarters of one friend. The stove works only occasionally, about every three…
Pre-registration demystified: genomics, falconry involved
Apart from the admissions process that we all went through to be accepted here, there is no system less understood than Pre-registration. Though many argue that ResLife’s decision to implement…
Biking leaves you breathless, and with some nasty scars
When we met three weeks ago, it was love at first sight. I had seen a picture online, but nothing compared to the real thing. A subtle beauty, bathed in…
Just don’t do it: The Misc’s guide to not working out
I hate working out. I understand why people do it, of course. It makes you feel strong, sweaty and smelly, which are all great reasons to do things. And you’re…