It is no secret that everyone’s sense of humor is unique and different, and what we find funny varies greatly based on the person. Some find humor in cynicism, some find it in foolishness and I happen to find it in making people really, really uncomfortable. Well, that might not be entirely true, but it is a goal of mine for my last semester at Vassar. I have spent the last four years trying to make people laugh. Have I succeeded? Meh, kinda?
I have written this column for the past two years, and whether or not anyone has found it funny is unknown to me besides? the occasional compliment that I awkwardly accept having forgotten what I wrote about that week the minute I turned in the article . And let’s be honest—have I written about anything that is revolutionary? Absolutely not. My writing focuses on my own experiences with lying, being a bad student and turning in late every piece of writing I have done for The Misc. Not very exciting stuff, but it gets the point across.
So during my final semester, having exhausted most of my attempts at humor, I have decided to just try being weird. I am not saying I am not odd already—everyone at Vassar kinda has their head in the clouds,in my opinion. But, this semester I am aiming to make people uncomfortable, for my own entertainment, of course. I mean who’s to say I don’t already do this, but this time it will be on purpose. How will I do this, you ask? Still figuring it out, but I do have some simple ideas.
Of course, we have to start out with the classics. Prolonged eye contact, giving deadpan responses to lighthearted questions, starting conversations with total strangers—you know, easy stuff. Then we can start on the new stuff. I have never been great with interacting with people who I kinda sorta know, but total strangers are really where the fun is. My goal this semester is to meet at least five new people, have a chaotic conversation where we discuss nothing and yet everything, and then ignore them when we walk past each other the next day in the Deece.
Struggling to figure out some other ideas, I consulted a few of my friends. One suggestion was to pretend to be a bouncer at parties and ask for IDs. I’m not sure how believable that would be, but hey, it could get a few chuckles. Another suggestion was to walk into a public restroom and say out loud, “It’s ok, you can poop in here.” Along the same line, it was suggested to run up to people on the Quad with a friend and ask them to guess who, out of the two of us, just soiled themselves. Obviously we are all aiming for some more highbrow stuff.
I am also trying to invest in some long-term awkwardness by repeating the same act in a public space and seeing how long it takes for anyone to notice. For the past week, every time I have passed by people walking into the Deece, I say, “You are in for a treat.”
Who knows how strange these things actually are, but it is clear that my mark on this school will not be made with my academic prowess and my honesty, so I may as well make it a little bit weird.