The Miscellany News

Aries

When faced with a barrage of choices, such as when walking into the famed ice cream parlor next to your mom’s physical therapy office, don’t get yourself down freaking out about what flavor to get. At the end of the day, all cold things taste the same. This goes doubly true for other choices, like jobs (the coldest things).

Taurus

Did you ever do that thing where you kicked around a stupid heavy soccer ball filled with cream and salt to make ice cream? That seems like a ploy by Big Dairy to get us all creaming at home, and I never participated out of staunch elementary protest. But I can’t stop you; if you’re going to cream, do so with due diligence.

Gemini

What is your preferred ice cream utensil? I like a nice hearty plastic spoon, but others may favor the infamous wooden paddle or just go straight in with the teeth and tongue, like some kind of maniac. Remain in awe of human ingenuity this week. While we may share 60 percent% of our DNA with a banana, we know how to use tools and they don’t. 

Cancer

Not everything is for everybody, but you don’t get to where you are by pleasing everyone. Virginia tends not to be high on the list of favorite states, but it still has a lot going for it. For example, there is a really cute ice cream parlor in the town of Great Falls, next to my mom’s physical therapy office. 

Leo

Success can come in unlikely places, such as the success of the Great Falls Creamery in the somewhat overly-swanky shopping area of the Great Falls Village Centre, next to my mom’s physical therapy office. Don’t ever feel like you can’t succeed just because of your circumstances! Radical self-belief is always key. 

Virgo

Make a list of your favorite things this week, and practice gratitude for every single one of them. For example, you might tear up with joy when the two 17-year-olds working the counter at the Great Falls Creamery give you an extra waffle chip in your sundae bowl. That’s just an example, though. You have to do yours on your own.

Libra

Spending time in nature is so key to our well-being, especially now that the days are longer and we have more sun in the evenings. If you get the chance, I’d highly recommend sitting outside on one of the little covered tables on the patio behind the Great Falls Creamery, soaking up the sun and watching the fancy dogs walk by. Just a suggestion.

Scorpio

Just because you are surrounded by untoward folks does not mean you can’t rise above. For example, the Great Falls Creamery resides between the vaguely-named “Property Collective” and the terrifying “Foundation for Government Accountability,” which might be a PAC or just a lobbying firm. Either way, the victorious Creamery chose kindness.

Sagittarius

The thing about ice cream, especially the ice cream next to my mom’s physical therapy office in Great Falls, VA, is that it is deceptively difficult to eat, and we as a society have just kind of forgotten about that part. As with all things we love, we are more than willing to see past the flaws. We must afford this courtesy to all.

Capricorn

As we move into a season of restless energy, focus on what grounds you. Connecting with yourself can be really scary, but super rewarding. If you feel uncertain in your body, why not give physical therapy a try? I know a great practice in Great Falls, VA. After you’re done, why not pop into the creamery next door as a treat?

Aquarius

Giving in to greed is always tempting, but we can’t let it win. When a small business contacts you, for example, promising a lifetime supply of their scrumptious wares in exchange for a free advertisement in the newspaper at your small liberal arts college, maybe don’t take the deal. There are better ways to spend time, even in the face of such temptation.

Pisces

There is love and joy all around us! Don’t wait for the “right” moment to properly enjoy this beautiful life. Even if you do end up making a mistake and falling for a corporate scheme by a well-meaning small business, for example, there is always a bright side. Maybe you’ll get an extra waffle chip in your peanut butter cone next time.