Picture this: You’re President Bradley. It’s October 27th. Halloweekened is just around the corner, and you’re still desperately seeking a costume idea. Never fear, ideas are here. This article won’t come out until Halloween, so I’m no help for her this year, but PB (President Bradley) can use this list for many Halloweekends to come when she’s truly lost in the costume sea.
Engaged Pluralism (again)
This was an iconic President Bradley and John Bradley couple’s Halloween costume from 20221. President Bradley wore a big engagement ring, and John wore a poster board on which he had written many plural words—and also wore a blonde afro wig. Nobody could represent Engaged Pluralism as chaotically as they did. I imagine they could go a step further, though. Why not a green long-haired wig next time, John? Is a handlebar mustache too much?
The Halloweekend tent
What a wonderfully flowy costume this could be. She could carry a speaker with her, blaring EDM music and sprinkling dirt on people’s shoes, ruining them forever. This could work as a couple’s costume too. John Bradley could be a security guard checking to make sure everybody’s V-cards are legit.
BYU
Last year, PB, in her most on-the-nose moment of all time, was Vassar College for Halloween. John Bradley was also the devil, which gave her costume enhanced meaning, but this was a pretty lopsided couples costume, if you ask me. I can only imagine it was John’s idea (what’s next, a dust bunny?). Still, if dressing up as colleges is the path PB is taking, she could expand the scope by dressing up as a more wholesome, pious college next year like BYU. John could be the devil again.
Optimus Prime
Autobots, roll out. My friend from high school dressed up as Optimus Prime for Halloween a few years ago and it was pretty cool.
Garfield
Insider sources tell me that PB adores lasagna and hates the first day of the workweek. Boy, do I know an orange cat you could relate to and also dress up as. John could be Jon.
Robocop
President Bradley—a cop? A robot? People might take umbrage with PB being a cop for Halloween, but let’s be clear: This is a robot cop, which is like, a whole different thing. There’s maybe a handful of cops that might be socially acceptable for PB to dress up as, like the bunny from Zootopia or Jim Lahey, but I picture PB as more of a Robocop enjoyer. John could just be a regular cop. I think people would be fine with that.
A Bengal tiger
There’s no significance to this one. I just think it would be fun. John Bradley could also be a Bengal tiger. Just two Bengal tigers, clowning around. Baller stuff.
A Vassar fire alarm
There’s nothing better than a big boxy Halloween costume. She could have a speaker attached to it that just starts beeping out of nowhere for no discernible reason, just like the Vassar fire alarms. If she has a Halloween party and wants it to end early and make everybody leave, she could hit a button that makes a beeping sound and then she could tell everybody to play along and evacuate her house. Then, when everybody is outside, she could quickly go back in, lock the door and go to bed. John Bradley could be the entire Poughkeepsie Fire Department.