Horoscopes 9/20
Aries When you try your best and you don’t succeed, or you don’t try at all and you still don’t succeed, just NRO the class and you’ll succeed. If it’s…
Humor & Satire
Hungry JYA-er eats stale baguette, experiences Deece-pair
Do you aspire to study abroad during your junior year? Then, boy, am I here like a sad storm cloud to rain on your beautiful dreams. Just kidding. Please don’t…
Yelp Review: The High Life, Amsterdam
Yelp User 2347 The High Life, Amsterdam 3/5 Stars Added: 9/12/18 Beautiful scenery. Gorgeous canals. Friendly people. Confused about the high occurrence of scantily-clad individuals; must just be summer in…
Engaged listening leads to scuffle, takeover by student
Having class deep in the basement of the library isn’t anyone’s idea of a fun time. There are no windows to stare out of, no nearby classes listening to videos…
Variations on a Theme: Rice and Beans
steamed brown rice salt and pepper navy beans snow peas. carrots. zucchini. steamed jasmine rice salt and pepper navy beans oven-roasted broccoli citrus-infused steamed brown rice salt and pepper pinto…
Jaded Jewett-dweller tells tale of infamous Coffin Single
Although newcomers to Vassar College might find themselves intrigued by Jew- ett and its veneer of hotel decadence, believing that such a luxurious building can only house the most spacious…
Student prepares for semester, forgets summer woes
For some, summer vacation means huddling over a microscope, saving the world from bacteria; interning for a congressman, saving the world from politicians; or working for an independent production company,…
Horoscopes—9/13
Aries The light of the moonbeam and other ancestral spirits makes it clear to me that ice cream is the only medium that will help you push through this week.…
Interrupting admirer cursed by chiseled god
We’ve all been there. There’s this gorgeous blue-eyed, blonde-haired classmate in high school that is waaaay out of your league, but you’re still very in love with him anyway. He…
Humor Desk serves up first-year handbook
1. Do befriend the ghosts that haunt your room. I suggest investing in a Ouija board to help you start off on a good foot with your extra roommate. I…