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As fall has just begun, the anticipation for changing leaves and everyone’s fetish for pumpkin spice has everyone in the spirit of the season. And sure, fall is the perfect…
Humor & Satire
Halloween costume ideas give students another reason to feel unprepared
Spooktober is finally here, and you know what that means! It’s time to add the finishing touches to that Halloween costume you’ve been working on since Nov. 1, 2015. What’s…
In administrator’s fantasy, party regulations well-received
Party Registration Policy and Practices Dear students, Now that a bunch of you have been written up for rules that were never properly explained, we would like clarify the party…
In solidarity with Brangelina, famous couples call it quits
BREAKING NEWS: Love is dead. That’s right, my dedicated Misc readers (Mom and Dad), the split of Brangelina on Sept. 21, 2016 marks the end of love for everyone everywhere.…
Student uses newspaper to search for friends in 2016
Friend seeking friend with an on-campus pet Animal lover with a big heart. I’ve really been missing my pets at home lately. Mostly I just want to find a person…
Mug experience weird and uncomfortable, no one surprised
The following story is a completely true one. In no way am I lying or embellishing and exaggerating the facts. This is also a very serious matter. It all began…
“Vassar is sick!” everyone ironically exclaims, mid-sneeze
I have started a diary to document the sickness that has encompassed the majority of the school recently. I am writing this in the hopes that the vital information I…
Students experimented on at ACDC but not with the food
This week, students began to notice a new hidden treasure of Vassar College. By engaging in one of the many things college students do best, eating, Brewers have come to…
Malia Obama lives her best life and intense riot ensues
America has been rocked by a scandal unrivaled in magnitude since Watergate. In the midst of this heated election season, another unrelated controversy has recently been at the forefront of…
Until reopening, Late Night at the Kiosk mourned on melodramatic scale
The last few weeks have been very stressful and trying times at Vassar. Not because freshmen are just now getting a sense of what it’s like to balance collegiate classes,…