I loved ‘The Boss Baby’
“The Boss Baby” is not just “the movie we need right now.” It’s the movie that we always needed, and always will need. It’s a timeless classic; it’s the Citizen…
Humor & Satire
An IUD and a vacation all at once
As the snow melts away into spring once more, the birds and bees have come out to play. (I wonder if we’ll have to come up with a new adage…
Vassar tries to be Hogwarts
This past week, Interim President Jon Chenette announced that Vassar will be participating in a “One Book, One Vassar” initiative between now and the end of the semester. This decision…
CIS warns of monthlong network outages
Beginning April 1, Vassar Computing and Information Services (CIS) will perform a system upgrade on VassarOne: Single Sign-On. As a result, members of the Vassar community will be unable to…
President Trump to Obama: ‘I’d tapp that’
On March 4 President Donald Trump accused President Obama of wire tapping the phones in Trump Tower. These claims have since been refuted by President Obama and Director of the…
Humor writer discusses how much he loves Evelyn Frick
I do not want to write this article. I do not want to write this article so very badly that I am refusing to use contractions. I have no time…
The Vassar Plague strikes again, with some fatalities
Not to be overdramatic, dear readers, but I am dying. In lieu of flowers, please send cute puppies to my family, because I know that’s what they would’ve wanted. (And…
Admin prove to be as illogical as students imagine they are
After the latest in a series of long meetings regarding the administration’s unsustainably bloated size, the Vassar administration has finally come to the hard-won consensus that the administration must be…
Why doing your laundry makes your clothes (and you) dirtier: Analysis of a dorm laundry room
I live in Jewett, and I’d be willing to bet a pack of mini Tide pods that my clothes are infested with more grungy filth when they exit the fingerprint-smudged…
A plea to Kim Kardashian: expose these ‘celebrities’
On July 17, 2017 (otherwise known as my own personal Christmas), Kim Kardashian exposed Taylor Swift via SnapChat. In an act of pure justice, Kardashian released a recording of a…